Let Me Be Vanilla

After reading many of Austen’s works, I believe every heroine prayed this: Let me be vanilla! 

In Pride and Prejudice, Darcy criticizes Jane for not showing her preference for Mr. Bingley. She enjoyed his company but never became all teenage girl-boy band member crush. Of course, proper decorum would frown on her sneaking over to his house, writing love letters with hearts for periods. Not to mention all of the ample possibilities for fainting, falling, and getting sick quickly (oh, right, she did come down with a trifling cold, but that was her mother’s fault). Again, she never stood out. She was simply vanilla. Bland, not memorable except to Mr. Bingley.

But of course, Elinor chides Marianne for being too vibrant, too changing, too full of flavor. No proper lady should romp about the countryside, falling down hills chasing sunshine or escaping the rain. It is simply not fitting! She should be dull and steady and colorless like Elinor. Clearly, the good Lord answered Elinor’s prayer for vanilla. She only attracted Edward, but Marianne got Brandon and Willoughby.

This leads me to poor Fanny Price whom is the most vanilla of the vanillas.

Fanny knows how to blend into the furniture, escape everyone’s notice (except for the dead but not really alive but moving around and being all sexy former Pharoah…Lord Eastwind). Sure, Edmund sees her, but then Miss Crawford and her dark chocolate personality comes along, so it is “so long Edmund.” Again, Fanny fades into the background, but the strange thing is–SHE LIKES BEING VANILLA! Really! She doesn’t want to be noticed or talked to or anything approaching attention. Even her uncle praises her for being spiritless and calm and obliging.

Of course, Fanny can’t have what she wants and stay vanilla.

Vampires and mummies  and werewolves and that stupid duck all conspire against Fanny and her vanilla wishing ways. They force her to confront them because she is truly as not vanilla on the inside  as she wants to be on the outside. 

What do you think of Fanny’s transformation? 

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